Monday, July 23, 2012

Tough Times

I have been having a tough time the last few days.

For the past week, the tumor has continued to grow at a crazy pace. I maxed out my painkillers, but I was never actually pain free. That ate up my physical and emotional reserves.

Late Sunday morning, I crashed. I didn't even get out of bed to hug our dear friends goodbye.

We know how we feel about each other, and one missed hug won't change any of that. Thank God. Plus the entire weekend felt like a long sweet gentle goodbye.

I also cancelled two visits. I am not at the point where I want you to drop in for a visit so you can watch me sleep or or listen to me snivel :-)

Judy and Jenny (my hospice nurse and my social worker) came a day early because Lou asked them to.

I could not even get out of bed for them.

When they arrived, I was ready to barf from the pressure on my stomach.

Luckily, I had just showered and put on fresh clean PJs, so all I had to do was lie there and let Judy take vitals and ask questions.

Then I got new instructions. I am now taking the painkiller more often, and soon I will have a stronger dose.

Now, nap time.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone


Anonymous said...

Hugs Karen, sorry about the pain being out of control. We are praying for your comfort. Glad you will get a higher dose of pain meds. Love you, aunt Peg

Anonymous said...

We're sorry to hear that your pain has not been controlled and that you have been suffering. Glad to hear that your meds will be adjusted. we were out of town visiting my mother during the visit dates, but I want you to know that we visit you every day through your blog. Know that you have our prayers and our happy thoughts that you had a good vacation in Myrtle Beach!
Linda, Carol, and Evelyn

Anonymous said...

I'm glad your med. people are on the ball with your have been VERY busy and maybe you needed some down time...whatever works for you is ok with us...TTFN Take care Love, Mrs. S. xxoo

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you, I was thinking about texting you this morning but the time just ran away from me.
Look for something sweet from me but it won't be food. Lots of love,
in WA

Tinalynne said...

Glad hospice was able to help with the pain control and I hope it stays under control. Hospice is so good at helping with anything you need! I hope your nap was good.

Jenn said...

So sorry you are having trouble with the pain control, Karen. Hoping it's better now that your meds are adjusted. Love jenn

Anonymous said...

Love You So Much and Thinking of You Throughout My Day!!! Hugs xoxo from Sharon W in Bellevue, WA

Karen said...

I am feeling a lot better now that I'm taking more painkiller. I really appreciate all the comments here, as well as all the email sent directly to me.

Know what else I appreciate? Lou did a load of laundry this evening, folded a bunch of nighties, and put them away in the right drawer in my bureau for me! Now that is heavenly, having fresh PJs at hand. (I sure blow thru a lotta clean PJs when that's all I wear.)

Anonymous said...

Hi Karen, It's good that Lou called your medical folks to keep your meds updated. Hope you are feeling better real soon.

Love Jeannie

Anonymous said...

Lots of hugs Karen.

Yummy on the huge burger, wish we were there. It's great having so many friends who love you.
I am blessed to have met both you and Lou, you guys are family to us.
We're glad the pain meds have regulated you so you can enjoy doing the things you love.
We are cheering you on Karen because we love you very much.

Hope to see you soon.

Love always,

Mike and Cindy