Thursday, August 16, 2012

It Is Over

Karen Granger Ross passed away this morning on August 16 @ 12:59 am.  Karen died peacefully in her sleep.  She went into a deep sleep around 10 am on August 15.  She never so much as moved a finger since that time.

I will miss my love of over 20 years.  I can’t express how lonely I feel right now.  I hurt so much and yet I must keep going for that is what Karen wanted.

Goodbye my love.

Lou Ross

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

None Responsive

Today Karen went to sleep around 10 am.  She has not woken up since then.  We are unable to wake her up.  The hospice nurse said not to try to wake her up to administer medication.  If she shows signs of pain, then administer the liquid morpheme.  But at this point, pills cannot be administered.  The nurse said Karen is probably in her comfort zone and may not need any more morpheme.

The difficult part for me is the grunt Karen utters when she exhales.  It is very difficult to listen to.  Karen’s breathing continues to become more labored.

I will need to take a sleeping pill tonight otherwise I will have no sleep.

Lou Ross

20th wedding anniversary

Today is our 20th wedding anniversary.  Karen and I have a wonderful life together.  Given the circumstances, I would love to be able to jump into a time machine and go back to that apartment in Kirkland, WA when we started out our life in 1992.  What a great life we had even though we had no money.  We just didn’t realize how wonderful it was.

We are celebrating our anniversary with Karen still in a hospital bed, on oxygen, etc.  She has very few moments of comprehension.  Most of the time she speaks in gibberish.  It is difficult to determine what she needs and/or wants.  She frequently moans, gasps, or grunts.  What a way to spend a 20th wedding anniversary.

I am holding it together because I have to.  Yes I continue to eat right, exercise, and not abuse substances.  Sleep on the other hand is very difficult.  I go to bed around 8 pm and craw out of bed around 6 am.  That may seem like a lot of sleep, but the reality is I get up every couple of hours to give Karen liquid morpheme.  At various times throughout the day and night I need to give Karen morpheme pills and anxiety medication.  In addition frequent checks on Karen to see if she needs water or other forms of comforting.  So in actuality I’m getting 5 to 6 hours of shallow interrupted sleep.  I’ll take what I can get.  It is difficult to get deep sleep when I am hearing moans, gasps, and grunts from my beloved wife.  It is even harder to shut off the mind when you are waiting for the last breath.

I try to work as much as I can to help distract my mind.  But it is difficult not to think about the end that is coming.

Happy 20th wedding anniversary to us.

Lou Ross

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Hospital Bed

This is Karens husband Lou. 

A hospital bed has been ordered for Karen.  Should arrive today.  Karen is much weaker and cannot get out of bed.  It is a good thing her parents are here to help.  This is the toughest thing Ive ever had to deal with.  Ill take a hip surgery and time.

I suggest you no longer leave comments on this blog.  Karen is not reading them often if at all.  I wont read them as I have other locations to read.  If you want me to relay a comment to Karen, please go to our personal website at

Leave a comment in the guest book.

Thank you all for your continued support, prayers, and good thoughts.

Also, if you have not, please visit Karens honor page at the American Cancer Society and if you would, please leave a donation.  The address is:

I will try to update this blog until the end.


Saturday, August 4, 2012


Sorry it took me so long to update here.

I am spending almost all my time in bed, asleep.

All my work friends lunches are already cancelled.

My hour visits are being cancelled.

All my weekend visits are being cancelled.

However, I have a backlog of lovely cheery photos to post here. Hope to do it ASAP.

Love you,

Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Watching Olympics on DVR

I woke up at 3:00am feeling okay.

I stayed in bed for an hour and a half, but now I have been up for an hour watching yesterday's Olympics with Lou.

Right away, I had a bite of coffee ice cream. Nice way to start the day after not eating hardly nothing for a week.

Lou made me an egg, and I ate half. Waiting to see if I barf.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone

Test Post

Am I still having trouble posting from my phone?


Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone