Friday, December 31, 2010

2010 Quick Updates

Thursday 12-30-2010 I am going to go back on "cancer vacation" again till my next scan which is set for the beginning of February.  Happy New Year!  See ya in February!

Christmas Eve 2010 Again last night I had to take Advil to get to sleep because my legs ached. Slept great though. Woke up pretty excited that it's Christmas-Eve-Day.
 
Monday 12-20-2010 I have been having a blast with Patsy and Omer. I cannot believe it is almost Christmas. Luckily, I am ready for it. Last night I had to take Advil to get to sleep because my back and legs hurt.
 
Saturday 12-18-2010 Patsy and Omer arrive this afternoon for a week. We are going to have a lot of fun. I have been getting stomach aches lately. Last time this happened, Dr R suggested taking zantac every day and the stomach aches went away.

Wednesday 12-15-2010 Samantha and I have been walking every morning this week, even though it is really cold. We both think it is a good way to start the day.

Monday 12-13-2010 Even though it is really cold this morning, my plan is to walk Sam before I go to work.
Sunday 12-12-2010 Rainy day, perfect for hanging around the house in my pajamas. I logged on and put in 7 hours at work, too. Plus I started wrapping presents. What a great day.
 
Thursday 12-9-2010 Got the Christmas tree 70% decorated last night.

Wednesday 12-8-2010 (LATER) The news is good! One spot grew by 3mm, the rest stayed the same, and no new spots appeared.

Wednesday 12-8-2010 (EARLY) Ready to hear my results.

Tuesday 12-7-2010 I went to bed pretty early last night. Scan Day is exhausting. But I slept great and woke up happy. It is very cold here today, in the twenties right now.

Monday 12-6-20010 Scan Day today!

October 8, 2010 At lunchtime yesterday I got a migraine, and it started up again two hours later. A double migraine. Bummer. But I am still doing the happy dance over my good results, and I feel fine today.

October 7, 2010 Feeling good today, but decided to work from home because of the low white blood cell count. Don't want to run the chance of someone coughing on me in the elevator.

October 6, 2010 Nothing cheers a person up like excellent scan results!
 
October 6, 2010 -- Scan Results Day -- Quick! Cross your fingers and toes, or say a quick prayer, or send vibes out to the universe in my favor. Lou and I meet with the doctor at 9:00AM at Duke. I slept amazingly well last night! No lying awake worried.

October 5, 2010 My eyelashes are growing back! When we went to that wedding, there was nothing on which to put mascara -- but this morning there is!

October 4, 2010 Had a great weekend. Awesome massage on Saturday! Got a new ironing board cover in a cheery autumn pattern and then ironed for hours while Lou watched football.
 
October 1, 2010 Goodbye September, hello October!

September 30, 2010 I coughed a lot last night, which was strange. But I feel very good this morning.
 
September 29, 2010 Every day, I feel better. I have a bounce in my step again. My plan was to go for a walk this morning, but it is raining cats and dogs.
 
September 22, 2010 I woke up many times last night, which stinks. But I did wake up this morning early enough to make breakfast for Lou. I have not made him breakfast in like 2 weeks!
 
September 21, 2010 Woke up a million times last last, but slept till 8:00AM which was nice. Feeling okay. Not shaky.

September 19, 2010 My cold and cough are almost gone! That is great news.
 
September 18, 2010 Woke up at 5:15AM. Thank God today is my last dose of Decadron; tomorrow I will be able to sleep late!

September 17, 2010 Coughed a lot last night. I was wide awake from 3:30AM to 5:15AM, but then I went back to sleep for a couple more hours. I spent those wee hours looking at fascinating pictures in a coffee table book on ancient Egypt that Robert lent us. So now I feel sort of generally lousy. No serious complaints though.

September 16, 2010 Lou slept upstairs in the guest room so that my coughing wouldn't keep hiom awake all night again. I did cough a lot last night, so it was a good decision. I am feeling okay this morning. I have taken lots of anti-nausea drugs. No nausea yet.

September 15, 2010 Last dose of Doxorubicin today!

September 14, 2010 I coughed all night long. Yikes.

September 13, 2010 Yikes, I woke up feeling really bad.

September 12, 2010 Woke up feeling really bad.

September 8, 2010 I slept great! I woke up with a sore throat and slight headache, but the cough is gone.

September 7, 2010 Patsy just reminded me that I have a low white blood cell count, so it is really good that I am staying home nursing my cold. I am suposed to watch for a fever.

September 3, 2010 I have been power walking every morning this week, so I decided to take this morning off.

September 1, 2010 I slept really well last night (instead of waking up over and over) and so today I am feeling more energetic.

August 31, 2010 Got up early and jumped in the hot tub with Lou. A long column of thousands of small black birds flew over the house toward the northwest. It was wild, went on for minutes.
 
August 29, 2010 Bummer of a migraine today. I have been exhausted all weekend but not nauseated, so that is a good thing.

August 28, 2010 Chemo insomnia got me up at 3:30AM, but I am happy to report that I am NOT feeling nauseated or exhausted. I bet later today I will feel exhausted from lack of sleep, but that is OK with me!

August 27, 2010 Well, I am exhausted and nauseated. And my iron died! So I cannot even amuse myself by ironing.

August 26, 2010 Woke up just after five o'clock this morning. Must drink decaf for the next couple of days because the Decadron makes me hyper. Feeling okay.
 
August 24, 2010 Sorry for not checking in here sooner! I got up really early so I could go for a walk, but it is just dumping rain out there.
 
August 20, 2010 Jeepers, I woke up this morning from a dream where I was trying to get my dead body buried. Yuck! I think maybe I'm watching too much TV on Egypt and mummification!

August 19, 2010 Went for the longer walk this morning, 2.2 miles. Feeling good!

August 18, 2010 No hip or back pain this morning! Yahoo!
 
August 17, 2010 I woke up with my left hip and lower back on fire. Now that I am up and moving around, it is just sore.
 
August 16, 2010 I feel really good this morning
 
Yikes! It's Friday the Thirteenth! The good news is, my hip did not hurt at all when I woke up this morning.

August 12, 2010 Woke up with some hip pain. Went for a long walk early this morning with my neighbor, Sue. Got a big project to accomplish today at work!

August 11, 2010 Last night was one of those nights where I dreamt all night long that I was awake. Amazingly, I woke up refreshed anyway. This morning I went for a walk. I did not go to the gate -- I am getting bored with walking to the gate. My hip does not hurt today!

August 10, 2010 I was exhausted yesterday, but I went to work anyway. I put in a full day and got a lot done. Funny thing is, I "woke up" around 6PM and got all energetic for an hour or so! I slept really well and feel good this morning. I do not feel exhausted today.

August 7, 2010 Wide awake at 3:30AM, so now I am ironing. Yesterday I had a tiny bit of nausea, and took Zofran and Compazine to keep it from growing. Right now, no nausea at all. Feeling good. Watching a No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency DVD while I iron. Got the volume down low so I don't wake up Lou.

August 6, 2010 I am feeling okay but plan to work from home again in case nausea hits. After tomorrow, the threat of nausea is gone. So far, so good.
 
August 5, 2010 My back is bothering me a little right now, so I think that I won't be able to sit at this desk much longer. Good thing I have my awesome pink laptop and a LazyBoy... my plan is to log in to work for a half day.

August 4, 2010 No time to update the blog this morning! Woke up at 7:15AM and was out the door at 8:00AM, headed to Duke.
 
July 29, 2010 Got up early and walked to the pool, which is a 2-mile loop.

July 28, 2010 Feeling good today.

July 27, 2010 I stayed up late again, reading, and woke up later than usual this morning. Went for the 2 mile walk in the cool, fresh summer morning air.
 
July 26, 2010 I slept great last night and feel pretty good today. Just finished some antibiotics.
 
July 25, 2010 Today I am feeling mighty fine. I helped bring groceries into the house, even bounced back down the stairs to bring up a second load of stuff.
 
July 22, 2010 Finally got in the hot tub this morning, and it helped my achy bones.
 
July 21, 2010 Woke up in minor pain this morning. My shoulders ached, my lower back ached... it feels like the Neulasta shot getting my bone marrow all cranky

July 20, 2010 Today is supposed to be the start of a heat wave in NC. Yikes! So Lou, Sam, and I went for our early morning walk while it was still cool.
 
July 19, 2010 Wide Awake at 5:00AM! Feeling good today. Went for the 2-mile loop and picked up three golf balls! Woo Hoo!

July 18, 2010 I am tired today. The good news is that the nausea seems to be gone.

July 17, 2010 They say insomnia never killed anyone... but it definitely leads to too much online shopping.

July 16, 2010 I woke up just after 4:00AM ready to start my day. Grrr Decadron! No caffeine for me.

July 14, 2010 I am feeling good. Tomorrow I get to kill some cancer cells!

July 13, 2010 Did not set my alarm this morning, hoping that I could catch up on my sleep from yesterday. I think it worked. I feel great.

July 9, 2010 TGIF!!!

July 8, 2010 My left hip bothered me all night. It was not painful enough to warrant taking some Tylenol, however.
 
July 7, 2010 My eyesight has been a little blurry for the last couple of weeks. I think that it might be dry eye caused by the chemo, so I have been using eye drops. Did not sleep well, but woke up early and went for a walk with Lou and Sam before it got too hot.

July 6, 2010 I must be out of the woods regarding migraines! 9 days since last migraine
 
July 2, 2010 Headed out now for the two-mile walk with Lou before work. It is abou 60 degrees, nice. Feeling pretty good this morning. 5 days since last migraine

July 1, 2010 Went for a walk this morning with Lou and Sam. 4 days since last migraine

June 30, 2010 I enjoyed nine fabulous hours of sleep last night! It can't be helped that I was unable to take the antibiotic within a six hour window. 3 days since last migraine

June 29, 2010 Oooh not such a good day today! 2 days since last migraine

June 28, 2010 Breakfast was so quiet this morning without Patsy and Omer! I'll call them on my way into the office, to hear how the trip home is going. 1 day since last migraine

June 27, 2010 Update Another fricking migraine! Thank God for Maxalt. 0 days since last migraine

June 27, 2010 Woke up early to see Patsy and Omer off. They have been away from home for over a month, which I totally appreciate, because they made everything so much easier to deal with. 6 days since last migraine

June 25, 2010 Slept okay, but woke up at 5:00AM. 4 days since last migraine

June 24, 2010 Slept great last night, feel good this morning. 3 days since last migraine

June 22, 2010 Went with Lou and Sam for their morning walk around the block. What a beautiful day! Patsy and Omer arrive some time today. Chemo tomorrow. 2 days since last migraine

June 20, 2010 Feeling very good these days, but chemo again on Wednesday. 1 day since last migraine

June 19, 2010 Slept really well again. 0 days since last migraine

June 18, 2010 Slept really well last night. 1 day since last migraine

June 17, 2010 Feeling pretty good this morning. Got a long day ahead of me. 0 Days Since Last Migraine

June 15, 2010 I cannot believe that it is mid-June already. My back is stiff; I have to make an effort to stand up straight. No pain though. Just stiffness.

June 14, 2010 Slept "late" -- till 6:56AM! I woke up four minutes before my alarm went off. Feeling very good today.

June 12, 2010 Painful patches on my scalp lead me to believe that I will indeed be losing my hair as predicted. Darn darn darn. And drat.

June 11, 2010 I miss being able to sleep late. Got up at 6:ooAM and logged on to work for an hour to get something urgent taken care of.

June 10, 2010 Woke up every 2 hours last night! But feel good this morning.
 
June 9, 2010 My checkup went really well. My labs look good. I got an antibiotic for my uinpleasant side effect. I also got the prescription for the Decadron for the next dose of chemo, which happily won't be till June 23. I am in my office! I better get to work!

June 8, 2010 Went for two short walks yesterday, once after lunch and once after dinner. That is the best proof of all that I am feeling better.

June 7, 2010 Feel almost normal this morning! Looking at a lovely vase of flowers from Lou's coworkers at Endicia, really pretty, with pink roses and big dramatic yellow thingies

June 6, 2010 Feeling much better!

June 4, 2010 I am not well. I am in bed. No barfing yet, just intense nausea.

June 2, 2010 A cup of tea was required to wake me up, but once I got going, I felt great.

Memorial Day 2010 I love a long weekend!

Saturday, May 29, 2010 Slept great, despite the storms. Woke up this morning at 5:30AM and worked for a couple of hours. Now we are all going for a 2-mile walk.

Friday, May 28, 2010 Woke up at 6:40AM after a great night's sleep. Feeling great.

Thursday, May 27, 2010 Jet lag is wearing off. I was awake at 9:00PM last night, and asleep at 6:00AM this morning

Wednesday, May 26, 2010 Feeling good. Wondering if I should still be taking the 1/2 Glyburide pill. I think I will track my numbers a couple of days and report to my primary care physician...
 
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 Woke up in my own bed at 2:00AM, realized my body thought it was 9:00AM, but I managed to talk my body into going back to sleep till 5:30AM

Friday, May 21, 2010 I probably have not mentioned my blood sugar lately. My numbers are good (95 to 140) and I am taking 1/2 pill of Glyburide every morning. It is not easy to cut the pill with my butter knife... I end up with one neat half pill and a pile of powder and rubble.

Thursday 5-20-2010 Slept great and woke up with skinny ankles. I have been taking the diuretic in the late afternoon, and so for a short time in the morning my ankles look and feel great

Tuesday 5-18-2010 Yesterday I did not take the diuretic because we were on a tour with limited access to bathrooms ;^) My ankles did not swell much

Sunday 5-16-2010 There is just too much going on to find time to make a real post. But today we are at sea and I will make the effort. I want to post some pictures. I feel good, maybe I do not have the stamina I once had, but no one does, right?

Friday 5-14-2010 We are on the Celebrity Equinox! The cabin is fantastic, the ship is awe-inspiring. But I am zonked from the long travel day. We need to stay awake and get through the lifeboat drill. We are still waiting for our luggage, whcih is why I have no pictures to post yet.

Thursday 5-13-2010 Too excited to sleep! I had to get up at 5:00AM because I was just too excited about the trip. Lou and I ran out to get bagels, then I logged on to work for a little while

Wednesday 5-12-2010 My blood sugar numbers have been getting lower and lower. I am down to 1/2 tablet of Glyburide in the morning, and hope to be off that medication soon.

Tuesday 5-11-2010 Heart stress test this morning! Doxorubicin is hard on your heart, so your heart has to be okay before you start. This test is to make sure my heart is okay

Monday 5-10-2010 I wiggled into the new compression stockings today and am looking forward to only moderate swelling. (Last night the swelling was horrendous, but I wore no stiockings and stood up ironing for hours and hours

Saturday 5-8-2010 Woke up itchy a lot last night. Sat in the sun room, applying ice to my legs, and watching water fowl floating on the little pond out there.

Friday 5-7-2010 UPDATE Patsy and Omer are driving out from Arizona to be here for the first chemo treatment! Yahoo! It will probably take them 4 days to make the trip in their lovely new Honda Accord. And they are bringing me the good ironing board. Life is good.

Friday 5-7-2010 My left leg and feet are very numb. Otherwise I am feeling good.

Thursday 5-6-2010 I slept through the night! Didn't wake up even once. What a miracle

Wednesday 5-5-2010 My sore throat is a lot better, and I think that I feel better in general. At one point yesterday I was striding down the hall at work feeling wonderful and energetic.

Monday 5-3-2010 My throat hurts when I swallow, like my glands are swollen on the right side only. And I am exhausted! But today is Scan Day, and I am not miserabkle enough to skip it.

Saturday 5-1-2010 Slept until 8:40AM this morning, what a treat. It is great to be home. Lou is out right now walking Samantha, and I am supposed to be surfing the web for a way to keep the barn swallows from making their muddy nest on our front porch again this year...

Thursday 4-29-2010 Woke up at 4:08AM with a tummy ache, but felt fine when Lou woke me up at 8:00AM with a cup of coffee

Wednesday 4-28-2010 We walked for hours yesterday through the Biltmore house. It was awesome. I'm having a great time, and I feel great. There is no fridge in our hotel room, so the clinical trial drugs are in the cooler. Need to get more ice before we take off for the day

Tuesday 4-27-2010 Oh boy, we both slept great last night. This mattress is so comfortable. I wonder if they sell them in the gift shop

Monday 4-26-2010 I am on vacation! In 52 minutes we leave for Asheville. No time to chat. Feeling very good. I stopped doing the PT exercises, and the pain went away. I must have been doing something wrong.

Friday 4-23-2010 On Saturday, we see "Wicked" at the fabulous DPAC in Durham, NC. John and Pat are coming too, so I know we'll have a great time

Thursday 4-22-2010 I have slept great three nights in a row! But this morning I woke up itchy scratchy.

Wednesday 4-21-2010 I slept great AGAIN last night. But I just realized that I have a bunch of PT exercises to do before I leave for work...

Tuesday 4-20-2010 I slept great last night. I took some Advil before going to bed because my back was bothering me. Late this morning I have a PT appointment
 
Monday 4-19-2010 My back is bothering me, but I plan to arrange a physical therapy appointment today. Slept well last night although my alarm at 7:00AM came as quite a shock.
 
Friday 4-16-2010 I'm itchy again. I'm grateful that I got a week's vacation from the itchiness. Tonight we go to dinner with Chaz and Darleen. Looking forward to a lot of laughs
 
TAX DAY 2010 We sent our taxes in weeks ago, so today is not particularly painful. Plus, I slept great last night. I'm a little itchy this morning, but I know I can use an ice cube if I need to.
 
Wednesday 4-14-2010 I didn't sleep well at all. Got a big day today. Wish me luck

Tuesday 4-13-2010 Another great night's sleep! This morning I briefly saw my ankle bones, but swelling has commenced

Monday 4-12-2010 What a great weekend! Knock on wood, the itchiness has abated. I feel very good this morning, did not wake up once last night.

Thursday 4-08-2010 At 5:00AM I came out to the sitting room and rubbed ice on my itchy legs. It worked really well, except I lost one ice cube somewhere in the dark

4-07-2010: Again, I woke up only twice last night! My itchy legs woke me up, but I was too sleepy to get an ice cube to make the itchiness stop. This morning, I am sneezy and my ankles are already swollen, but other than that I feel good.

4-06-2010: Only woke up twice last night. That's an improvement

4-05-2010: My left leg is still numb right above my knee, and starting yesterday it is also tight and sore. I think that my message to Dr Morris must have gotten lost because they have not called me back yet. I am not sure if I should call UNC again or just talk to Dr Riedel at Duke.

Happy Easter 2010: Still not sleeping well, awoke with leg cramps and limped into the bathroom to stand on the cold tile, which works miracles. Having a lovely day with Lou. Watched a movie and went for a late lunch to 35 Chinese Restaurant in Cary where we ate lamb.

4-3-2010: Got up around 6:30AM after another restless night. I foresee a nap in my future...

4-3-2010: Got up around 6:30AM after another restless night. I foresee a nap in my future

April Fool's Day 2010: I haven't been sleeping well; I wake up a few times every night. This morning I was tired and grumpy and everything ached. So Lou and I jumped into the hot tub. After that, I felt pretty good.

Wednesday 3-31-10: Got up early this morning so we could watch last night's episode of LOST. Last night I dreampt that I was at my hairdresser's trying to get an appointment for a haircut. (I think it is too soon for that.)

Tuesday 3-30-10: I was so completely exhausted yesterday evening! But I feel great right now.

Monday 3-29-10: Slept until almost 8:00AM! That's a good thing, because today will be a long day. My ankles are swelling already, so I guess I'll have to wear compression stockings today.

Friday 3-26-10: Woke up completely stuffed up! And dry. I drank a big glas of water and came back to life. Today my team at work is going out to lunch to celebrate all the birthdays and milestones we missed in the last 6 months because we were so slammed with work.

Thursday 3-25-10: Woke up early today to drive Lou to an appnt before work. My blood sugar was 146 this morning -- the numbers are finally improving

Wednesday 3-24-10: I feel good today. Lou and I went to diabetes class all day yesterday. It was very educational and

Monday 3-22-10: Wow, I have not posted since Thursday! I didn't think I had that much fun this weekend. No more nausea! But my ankles are swollen, my face and scalp are broken out, my left leg is still bothering me, and I am all stuffed up. Slept for nine hours last night.

Thursday 3-18-10: I was exhausted this morning when my alarm went off at 7:00AM because even though I went to bed early, I was awake for what seemed like a million years.
 
Wednesday 3-17-10: Yesterday I forgot to take the Metformin with dinner.Didn't remember till I was in bed. Checked my blood sugar (200) and then took the pill. Was a little nervous to take the pill on an empty stomach but it was fine

Tuesday 3-16-10: Yesterday I was only a little nauseated! But I was completely exhausted. Today I feel pretty good -- hope it stays that way. Blood sugar was 151 when I woke up this morning

Sunday 3-14-10: I spent most of the day waiting to throw up. Ugh, Metformin does not agree with me

Saturday 3-13-10: Had to take a nap this afternoon. I think that this uncontrolled blood sugar is kicking my butt.

Friday 3-12-10: Slept great, did not wake up once in the night. Probably from relief at the good news yesterday.

Thursday 3-11-10: Slept great! Going to do my PT exercises now and leave soon for the day at Duke...

Wednesday 3-10-10: Dreamt about spiders last night, but woke up feeling pretty good anyway

Tuesday 3-9-10: Itchy, Stuffy, and Numb! Three new dwarves for Snow White to cook for? Nope, just how I feel today

Monday 3-8-10: So far, feeling pretty good today. My left leg seems more numb than last week, but the pain is gone. I guess that means physical therapy is working again

Saturday 3-6-10: Today we see Spring Awakening at the DPAC and then go to a steakhouse with a bunch of neighbors.

Friday 3-5-10: Last night I was nauseated. But today I woke up feeling pretty good.

Tuesday 3-2-2010: Last night I slept pretty good, and this morning I feel pretty good.

Sunday Night 2-28-2010: Today I have not felt that great. I have had a headache and just haven't felt good.

Friday 2-26-2010: Thank God It's Friday!

Thursday 2-25-2010: I was exhausted last night! But I slept good and woke up feeling refreshed. Work is a little crazy right now because deadlines are looming. That RUSH RUSH RUSH mode can be really fun (for a short time). Right now, it is snowing so prettily, but it is not sticking to the roads.

Wednesday 2-24-2010: I was exhausted yesterday. Maybe starting to take Metformin to lower my blood sugar is wiping me out, I don't know. This morning I woke up just before 7:00AM but was so tired still I crawled back into bed for another hour and a quarter. Feel pretty good right now, ready to face the day.

Tuesday 2-23-2010: Hmmm, blood sugar was 196 this morning. My goal is 80 to 120. I slept eight hours, but I am still tired. Otherwise I am feeling pretty good.

Monday 2-22-2010: Slept more than 9 hours last night! Ahhh, that is wonderful. Right now I have that headache again, but I hope it will go away soon because at lunch today I started taking a prescription to help control my blood sugar levels.

Sunday 2-21-2010: Last night my blood sugar was a whopping 345, so at 11:30PM I hopped on the exercise bike and did 5 miles in 40 minutes. When I retested, I was down to 218. Tomorrow morning I see my primary care physician and hopefully start getting this mess under control.

Saturday 2-20-2010: This morning I rinsed my sinuses and feel much better.

Friday 2-19-2010: My platelets are low, so my nose is full of blood, which does not smell great.
 
Thursday 2-18-2010: Woke up with a headache. Blood sugar 176. Finally get to send it my results to the nurse today.
 
Wednesday 2-17-2010: Girl Scout Cookies have arrived! And me with high blood sugar. Boo hoo! This morning Lou said that high blood sugar might be the best thing that ever happened to me (to help in my never ending weight struggle). So I joked, "You're saying it's a gift from God?" because I heard that from a lady once about the cancer. (I wanted to spit on her.)

Monday 2-15-2010: I am obsessed about checking my blood sugar level. If it didn't hurt to jab my finger, I'd be doing it more than three times per day. This morning it was 182

Sunday 2-14-2010: Happy Valentine's Day! Lou is making breakfast right now, grits and eggs.

Saturday 2-13-2010: I woke up to lovely snow blanketing the neighborhood. I am not exhausted any more. My energy level is back where it ought to be. I guess I caught up on my sleep.

Thursday 2-11-2010: I am still dragging! Headache, congestion, exhaustion... I give up, I am going back to bed. This afternoon, I go to Duke for routine labwork

Wednesday 2-10-2010: I am dragging! I feel as though I have a cold. When I blow my nose, there is a creepy amount of blood in the tissue (which is a known side effect of the clinical trial drug and probably too gross for me to mention here, sorry).

Tuesday 2-9-2010: Lou woke me up at 7:00AM. I was dreaming that my old oncologist was there giving me an exam, very weird. My cough might be back. My ankles are looking mighty fine though. I have an appointment this Thursday to see my oncologist.

Tuesday 2-2-2010: Nineteen years ago today, I went on a blind date with this guy named Lou, and it was the best decision I ever made. At some point, I'll have to tell you the story of how he threw away my phone number after that first date...

Monday 02-01-10: Going to be a tough day today.

Sunday 01-31-10: Lovely snow day yesterday, trapped in the house, in my PJs, watching movies, doing laundry... and knowing the whole time that four inches of snow in Massachusetts wouldn't trap you in your house but it is lovely that here in North Carolina it does

Saturday 01-30-10: SNOW! It's lovely. I was WIDE AWAKE last night and logged on to work till about 2:30AM. There is nothing I like better than sending out email in the middle of the night.
 
Friday 01-29-10: I slept great (with the help of an Ambien pill) and woke up raring to go. I heard a lot of great stuff yesterday in the training and having some work to do
 
Thursday 1:30AM 01-28-10: I AM SO WIDE AWAKE. It must be the prednisone. I need to be alert at work tomorrow -- no TODAY. I am supposed to listen to an important training session. Oh but my cough is better!
 
Tuesday 1-26-10 evening update: Cough, cough cough cough!

Tuesday 01-26-10: We got up early this morning to watch 24. I slept well, my ankles look good, but the port is still tender.

Monday 01-25-10: I woke up in the middle of the night convinced that some mechanism attached to my arm had fallen over on top of Lou. He didn't appreciate being woken up to see if he was okay ;^)

Sunday 01-24-10: I am sitting in my LazyBoy with my feet elevated and my laptop in my lap. Heaven! Lou is upstairs working. I am going to the grocery store, and then a friend is coming over to sew something and work on her resume. I can't get to the Y today, but I will go for a walk.

Saturday 01-23-10: Lou is upstairs working, and I am sitting here thinking up something to blog about. We had a great day. I took all the Christmas decorations off the Christmas tree and boxed them up nicely

Friday 1-22-10: I just took my last antibiotic. I hope my cough goes away soon. I slept great last night!

Thursday 01-21-10: My alarm went off at 5:30AM so I can get to the vanpool, so I am dragging. But I feel pretty good. Right now, my ankles look great: no swelling at all.

Wednesday 01-20-10: I slept great last night and feel pretty good this morning. It is supposed to be 63 degrees today, but tomorrow it will drop to 44. It is so much more convenient to take my clinical trial pills at night! Plus, it means no snacking is possible after dinner

Tuesday 01-19-10: Yesterday I wore very cute shoes, but they allowed my feet to swell. Today I'll wear my sneakers instead.

Monday 01-18-10: Lou and I got up at 6:00AM so we could watch the two hour premiere of "24" this morning :^) so I cannot complain that I did not get enough sleep last night.

Sunday 01-17-10: I am dragging today! This cold and asthma is wearing me out. I am going grocery shopping and then I am going to get back into my PJs and just do nothing today.

Saturday 01-16-10: I am feeling better, still coughing and congested but a bit improved.

Friday 01-15-10: I got up at 5:30AM and rode in the vanpool to work. My legs are aching today. The doctor told me yesterday that all this swelling is caused by the Tax chemo, which I stopped taking in October, and that this side effect might last as long as a year after you stop taking the chemo! Yikes.

Wednesday 01-13-10: Yesterday got antibiotics and asthma medicine. Actually got an albuterol treatment before I left the doctor's office and felt much better. Tomorrow is my scan!

Tuesday 01-12-10: Slept better last night. Today I feel as though I am fighting a cold. Stuffy head, cough, tiredness. I have been coughing for more than 3 weeks. I see my primary care physician this afternoon; maybe he can help

Monday 01-11-10: Didn't sleep at all last night! Maybe because I drank tea after 4:00PM yesterday. Turned off my alarm clock because I knew I could not get up at 5:30AM. When I finally got up at 7:00AM, I felt pretty good. Really looking forward to getting back to work. I still have a cough and swollen feet, but these are minor problems

Sunday 01-10-10: Today I walked Sam around the block, did laundry, and read. Quiet and restful. I am still coughing and plan to call my primary care physician tomorrow

Saturday 01-09-10: We are home safe and sound! I am tired. Traveling is exhausting, even when it is pretty easy like today.

Friday 01-08-10 EVENING UPDATE We are all packed, suitcases are in the hallway, and ready to go home. I am about to pack away my laptop. We're having a later dinner at 9:00PM. I feel great.

Friday 01-08-10: YIKES! Both feet are so swollen this morning I cannot put my pink flip flops on. I am going to elevate my legs all day long. Otherwise, I feel good and am looking forward to going home.

Thursday 01-07-10: Got a pot of coffee delivered to our cabin this morning; what a great way to wake up! Feeling pretty good. The white painful spot on my gums seems smaller and less painful

Wednesday 01-06-10: Lou let me sleep till 8:30! We stayed up late last night watching a movie under the stars on a huge screen near one fo the pools. State of Play, with Russell Crowe. My ankles are still problematic, but I feel pretty good.

Tuesday 01-05-10: I ran down to the coffee bar this morning to get croissants and lattes -- and brought them back to the cabin for us to enjoy in bed. (I never can deliver Lou coffee in bed at home because he is always up before me.) I have a small sore in my mouth; I think that it might be from the clinical trial drug. I am visualizing red and white blood cells ruching over to make it go away.

Monday 01-04-10: Coffee delivery at 7:00AM woke me up. We sat on the balcony and drank a pot of coffee before breakfast. What a great way to wake up! I am visualizing my hair growing... but I am not seeing much results ;^)

Sunday 01-03-10: Gosh I sleep great on a cruise ship! I still have a little cough and my ankles are still troublesome. Today we go to a volcanic black sand beach! I am so excited.

Friday 01-01-10: My cough is almost gone, but my ankles are really swollen. Hey, my peach fuzz and eyebrows are really coming in good!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Janitorial Help Wanted

My bottle of AHCC arrived in the mail yesterday. That's the mushroom extract stuff that is supposed to increase natural killer cells activity and therefore boost your immune system.  I am hoping to get more natural killer cells roaming around inside me, looking for cancer cells to beat up.

I felt sort of led to AHCC.

I first heard about natural killer cells a long time agao, and I remember thinking that they were really cool, like violent janitors working inside my body.  I spent a bunch of time visualizing them zooming around inside me, taking care of business, whacking cancer cells with their brooms.  I especially visualized this every time I saw a scan and had a good idea where various tumors were located. 

A few weeks ago, I started thinking about natural killer cells again, out of the blue.

Then I was in a waiting room and decided to borrow a magazine (okay, I stole a magazine) because it contained an article about meditation that I thought was really practical. Flipping through the magazine later, I noticed another article on fighting allergy symptoms by taking something called AHCC to  increase the number of natural killer cells working for you.

Wow, I thought, you can increase the number of natural killer cells working for you?  That would be excellent.

So I surfed the web a little.  I saw some interesting claims but little proof. I also figured out where to buy the stuff.  But I decided that I would have to check with Dr R before I started taking a new supplement, especially since the web warned that it decreases the effectiveness of Doxorubicin.  I am totally all done taking Doxorubicin, but I figured I ought to check anyway.

Dr R said that there was no proof that it would work, but that if I wanted to try it, then I should.  He actually suggested that I run my own informal clinical trial, which I thought was a cool idea. 

So, I started taking the AHCC this morning.  Let's say I have put an ad in the paper, looking to hire on a big crew of violent janitors for a special cleanup project.  No experience necessary.  Cool uniforms and big heavy brooms will be issued to all new hires.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Meltdown Last Thursday

On Thursday night, I had a meltdown.

You can imagine what I was feeling. I am human, after all.

I really do not want to have cancer, especially such a nasty kind. I'm bummed that we have not been able to get rid of it, despite all the chemo I've had. 

It bothers me that I would hardly even know I have cancer except for all the trouble that the chemo and radiation have caused, like part of my left leg is numb, I don't know that I have to pee till I really really have to pee right now, both feet are sort of numb, my toenails are freaky looking, I am still close to bald, and so on.

Every time I feel an ache or a twinge, my first thought is that it is the cancer. Every time we plan a vacation, I wonder if I'll be able to go. Every time I hear someone say that God does not give you more than you can handle, I get ticked off.

And my "good news" from last week -- that only one tumor grew -- didn't seem all that good on Thursday night. Who cares if only one tumor grew?  None of them shrank.  None of them disappeared forever.

So on Thursday night, I sat on the couch with Lou and cried all over him.  (He really is the best husband in the world.) 

Afterward I felt a lot better.

Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. Accepting that I have cancer doesn't mean that I like it.  It just means that I realize how fruitless and unpleasant my life would be if I spent all my time railing against this fact of my life.  So, except for the occasional meltdown, I maintain a pretty good attitude. I focus on the positive, and try to have a good time.

This whole weekend, I have been feeling great.  My good news from last week is good news again. I'm looking forward to another awesome two months without chemo. I'm reading When God Doesn't Make Sense by Dr. James Dobson, and I just finished re-reading The Problem of Pain by C. S. Lewis.

Ooooh, and I am looking forward to talking AHCC and revving up my natural killer cells.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Natural Killer Cells

I was reading an article about meditation in Natural Health magazine, and I saw another article about fighting allergies with natural killer cells. Those are the cells that roam around your body looking for intruders -- and killing them. I've heard of natural killer cells and I used to visualize them attacking my tumors.

Anyway, this article mentioned a supplement that can increase the number of natural killer cells you have in your body.  It's called AHCC (Active Hexose Correlated Compound).  It is an extract from mushrooms.  It is supposed to be good for your immune system in general. I also found some info on the web about the idea that you might be able to use AHCC to fight cancer cells.

So, on Wednesday, I asked Dr R if it would be okay for me to try taking AHCC. I felt a little silly, like I was asking if I should take shark cartilege or make chicken sacrifices. But he was supportive, as always. He said that there was no definitive evidence either way regarding whether it would be effective in the fight against the sarcoma -- but that if I wanted to try it, it would be a perfectly good idea to do so, especially since I am not getting any chemo for at least the next two months.  He suggested that I run my own informal clinical trial.

I could NOT have taken it this summer, because AHCC reduces the effectiveness of doxorubicin.

So I ordered a bottle.  Now I am waiting for it to come in.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Like Waiting for Santa

Waiting for the doctor to come in and give me my results is like waiting for Santa.  Will this be something I want, like a shiny new pen with my name on it?  Or will it be something I don't want, like a lump of coal?

This morning, I woke up at 6:00AM, immediately wide awake and thinking about how I would be getting my results soon. I wasn't scared or nervous. I was just looking forward to knowing.

Our plan this morning is to get coffee at Electric Beanz. (Mine is an extravagant half eggnog latte, and Lou's is an Italian roast drip.) Then we eat bagels for breakfast at Breugger's.  After that, we zoom up to Duke to see what Santa left in my stocking.


UPDATE:
I MUST HAVE BEEN A VERY GOOD GIRL
NO COAL IN MY STOCKING

The news is good.  One spot grew (by 3 mm) and the rest basically stayed the same.  And there were no new spots!  That is the best part.

So, we are going to continue leaving me alone.  No more chemo for another two months.  Ooooh, I get to keep feeling good.  Happy dance!  Going to have a Merry Christmas for sure.

My next scan will be on February 7.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Happy Birthday, Dad

Today is my Dad's birthday.  He's a wonderful father, the best ever.  I took this picture with my cell phone when we were out there visiting my parents last month, and now when I get a call from my Dad's cell phone, this picture pops up.


Scan Day yesterday went well.

I had a hard candy in my mouth when the nurse accessed my port, because I got nauseated the last few times from the smell and taste of the saline flush. But I didn't plan well and had no candy for when they de-accessed my port.  I was flooded with the smell and taste, and although it was unpleasant, I did not become nauseated. That is awesome. I guess I was just easily nauseated during chemo.

The clinic was backed up, and so I spent most of the afternoon waiting around to be called. But I had a book to read, so I was happy.  It was a medical thriller, an old one called Miracle Cure by Michael Palmer. 

I also met a nice lady who was hanging out in the CT Scan waiting room. She was waiting to be admitted to the hospital. She hadn't expected to be admitted; she had her first appointment with a new doctor for breathlessness, and the doctor said that she could not go home in that condition. We talked about how stressful it is while they are trying to figure out what is wrong with you. I did not mention to her that a lot of characters in Miracle Cure had breathlessness and ended up dead because they were in a clinical trial run by an evil pharmaceutical company and greedy doctors...
 
I get my results tomorrow, and I will post them as soon as I can.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Vacation's Over

I'm back!  Vacation is over.

This was an excellent idea. And it worked. For the most part, I did not talk about or think about cancer. There were people who don't read the blog and who asked me how I was doing. I would say I was really good and try to avoid going into detail.

Of course, I couldn't completely forget about cancer.  My denial just is not that strong.  For one thing, my lack of hair was a constant reminder. I was still wearing a hat to work until about a week ago. Once I got complete coverage (no shiny bald patches) I gave up the hats.

I will admit that I have found myself worrying about this scan as the date approached.  Last time around, I made myself consider the worst possibilities in detail so I would be ready for bad news. I decided not to do that again, if I could help it.  Better to be surprised by bad news than to waste a week or two miserably waiting for bad news that might not come.

The scan is this afternoon, and I get the results on Wednesday.  Wish me luck.