No wonder I can't eat anything.
The tumor near my stomach has MORE than doubled in size and is squashing my poor stomach terribly.
This is really really bad news.
This tumor is growing very aggressively.
Strangely, all the little tumors in my lungs pretty much stayed the same size. But even though that is great news, it's not enough to cancel out that the other tumor grew so much.
Dr Reidel explained my options. For the first time ever, he talked about hospice as an option.
I got really choked up and asked if that meant we were giving up.
Dr R said hospice isn't about giving up; it's about changing the focus to make the most out of every day that's left.
He said it used to be that hospice wasn't mentioned till very very late, and then the patient was dead a week later. But there are studies that show that when hospice starts earlier, people live longer.
The hospice nurses are expert at managing the pain and quality of life issues to make the most out of every day.
Can you tell where this is going?
Of course, I could do chemo again instead. But the track record of this chemo is nothing to write home about.
Plus, after going through chemo SEVEN times already, I really am having a hard time with the idea of going through it again, especially since I am already so miserable and exhausted already on most days.
We did meet with the clinical trial protocol nurse to get the facts. It turns out I know and love this nurse (Lynn) from the Duke chemo treatment room! She just switched jobs.
But after hearing more details, I just became very clear that I am done with chemo. I just don't have it in me.
So it's time for hospice.
Please don't call me tonight. Both Lou and I are devastated and don't want to talk to anyone yet.
Leave me a comment instead!
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