Burned Out Nurse?

The hospice social worker and nurse came out to talk to us.

The social worker was great and described their services very clearly. But the nurse sort of freaked me out.

She was loud and brusque and very businesslike. When I looked into her eyes I didn't get any feeling of warmth or friendliness or emotional connection at all.

I was in a huge dilemma. My nurse friends had all led me to expect a warm caring person with whom I would establish a relationship and come to lean on in this difficult time.

So I am sitting there wondering how the heck to handle this. Rules of politeness say I cannot say, "I don't like you," but choosing my hospice nurse is too important to mess up.

I really feel like I no longer have to do things I do not want to do, deal with people I do not want to deal with... because I have limited time left.

So I apologized but made it clear that I felt no rapport with her and did not expect that to change. I said it was an intangible thing, nothing she said or did in particular.

The social worker said she could send another nurse. Then they left, and Lou stayed outside for a couple minutes talking to them. I wondered if he was having to apologize for my behavior...

But when he came back in, his first words were to say that he completely agreed with me and that I was really brave to express that.

We decided that if the next nurse is also unfriendly, we will call Duke Hospice instead.

The next nurse comes today at 2:00pm.

(My parents suggested that maybe this nurse is just burned out.)

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