How Is It Going?

Things are going great with the pazopanib! I have taken four doses. Compared to other chemos, this is a breeze. I'm talking about a sweet, honeysuckle-scented North Carolina summer breeze, too, with butterflies and chirping birds and happy adventures right around the corner.

There have been random moments when I felt really tired or just really bad, but they seem to last like 15 minutes. For example, at Costco on Saturday, I felt weak and bad, and I went into the ladies room and was shocked to seethat my face was drained of all color. But it passed.

My problems with my left hip and left leg (caused by those bulging discs) seem to be getting worse, though. Since Friday night, there's been a lot more pain, numbness, and unsteadiness -- both day and night.

Like, why am I blogging at 10:30PM? I tried to go to bed an hour ago but the pain flared up so ridiculously that I had to get up. I want to sleep, though. I know that getting a lot of sleep is crucial during chemo, if I want to be able to function at work.

Do you think it's possible that the exercises prescribed my my physical therapist are making things worse? They are just simple stretches, but... it seems that things have gotten worse since I started doing those stretches. So I stopped doing them. And I have a vague memory that the last time I tried PT, the same thing happened, which is why I stopped going last time. I will talk to Jaime on Tuesday when I have my next PT appointment.

I talked to my brother, Jeff, this aft, which was awesome. He's had bulging discs, too, and he has taken Nerontin, too. But he never stretched while the discs were flaring up because it seemed as though it might exacerbate the problem.

Here is something fascinating that I realized this afternoon: all this pain and trouble from the bulging discs is much easier for me to deal with -- emotionally -- than any pain at all from the tumors. I have absolutely no sense of dread or fear associated with this bulging disc pain. It's not like I'm cheerful as I writhe around trying to find a comfortable position. Maybe calm is a good word. If I could make up a word, it would be un-freaked-out.