Wednesday, February 10, 2010


I wore my wig in Missoula for the viewing, the funeral, and the luncheon after the funeral. (The rest of the time, I was bare headed or wore a baseball cap.)

My friends here told me I did not need to wear the wig, that I did not look pathetic and chemofied. But I didn't want to be any kind of chemo-distraction or cancer-reminder during those times.

Plus, there was a chance that I was delivering the eulogy during the funeral mass. If Michael's baby sister Jennifer found that she could not go on, she had the option to call me up to take over, but that not what happened at all. Jennifer was perfect. She was composed yet clearly heartbroken and did a wonderful job reading various memories of Michael that had been written.

I have a nice wig. It is very cute. It has three silicone sticky patches that really hold it in place on my head. Plus, having peach fuzz also helped to hold it in place, so it was actually a lot more comfortable than it used to be.

But Missoula is very dry. What I think happened is the dryness affected the sticky patches. By "affected," I mean "rendered them totally non-sticky" so that there was nothing to held the wig on my head during the luncheon. The elastic that is built into the wig started to pull it up my head. It felt as though the whole thing was about to go SPROINGG and fly up into the air like in a cartoon!

When I tried to pull it back down into place in the back, the whole thing slipped backward because the sticky patch on my forehead was not sticking. I had to scoot into the ladies room several times during the luncheon to get it back in place. As I was walking to the bathroom, I was just hoping that it did not look too freakish. There is nothing so wrong looking than a lopsided wig.

Well, as a result, I just could not deal with the wig. After the luncheon, we assembled at the cars for the 3 hour drive to the cemetary, and I pulled off the wig and stuffed it in a little plastic bag.

When we got to the cemetary, it was cold and snowing, so I put on my hood and looked like one of the crowd.

And there was a heck of a crowd there at the cemetary in Columbia Falls, which was where Michael grew up. Someone counted 67 people, plus the military personnel who performed the 21 gun salute, Taps, and the moving presentation of the American flag.

Falling snow muffles sound and gives such a fresh taste to the air. It was beautiful and peaceful.


Robyn said...

I know you were so glad to be of comfort to Tinalynne. I hope that I can do that for one of my dear friends one the kind and loving support they need at just the right time.

It's what you do so well...

Nevertheless I am sure I speak for lots of us - WELCOME BACK!!

Hope your asthma stays at bay...

Love to you!

Jean Trainor said...

Love the wobbly wig experience, we women go through this sort of thing too much I feel. I remember when I was about 13 on my way to school, it was before tights were de rigeur am I had on full suspender belt and stockings alongside regulation school knickers or underpants you probably call them. Suspender belt broke, whole lots started descending to floor in front of crowds of people going to work etc. Its been downhill ever since!Think I will decline wig offers.

You seem to have coped well with the funeral and I am so glad you could be there and feel a help- last line of the blog is beautiful.

Love Jean in UK

Daria said...

That was very considerate of you to wear the wig ... I know how you feel tho ... don't want the attention ... or the distraction.