Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Forgot to Come Home From Work


I work at the best company in the world. I have great health insurance and about as much job security as could be expected. Everyone has been supportive and kind and yet just pile on the work in a wonderful way to keep me busy.

I also work with the best people in the world, the fricking smartest and fun people!

Plus I love what I do, which is write software documentation, and talk to software engineers, and learn new stuff all the time.

There are some days when I am totally enjoying myself at work trying to figure out the best way to describe something, and I lose all track of time and just keep writing and thinking and rewriting... then Lou calls because it's late and I exclaim, "Oh no, I forgot to come home!"

Now, I also totally love Lou and my home and Samantha the Golden Retriever, so don't think for a minute I'm staying late at work to avoid coming home. Not the case.

I guess I am just telling you how awesomely lucky I have been as a person. I have a wonderful family, have a likeable personality, loved school, got directed to a fabulous career in technical writing, met an amazing guy, been married for 17 years, went on many fabulous vacations, and made a lot of wonderful friends...

My life has been blessed!

But a lot of that is attitude, because there is also a bunch of bad stuff that I have to either deal with or just accept as appropropriate. Like, I have had a bunch of personal struggles that we don't need to go into here. I wish I weren't overweight. Loved ones have died, and other loved ones are very ill right now. My best friend Tinalynne lives 2000+ miles away. I strongly dislike the document processing tool I use every day at work. I wish more than anything we could sell our other house instead of trying to rent it. I have cancer again. And on bad days I worry that I won't be here in the future for Lou and my parents and Tinalynne. But everybody could come up with a list like that! And nobody has a guarantee that they will be here in the future for their loved ones; anybody could have a soda machine fall on them tomorrow.


Robyn said...


You are the most beautiful woman I have met in a long time. Your enthusiasm for life knows no bounds.

I can't imagine the burden you are carrying and I know there are some days that are better than others. I hope you, with all that love, compassion, and famous determination will allow yourself to be melancholy once in a while. Is that melancholy or is my "detector" out of calibration again? Look, even Superman had moments...

Maybe I shouldn't post this here because it is a bit personal but I have had the awesome opportunity to meet, though not F2F, all the wonderful people that have surrounded you with love and support. The evidence of their devotion is inspiring. Your courage has been unwavering and have been there for others. Jeez, you comforted me in my sorry saga!!

So if I have you up on a pedestal, I do, but you earned pedestal status, my dear...

I love you!

TBritt34 said...

First of all thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with us; Second of all, WE feel that we are the lucky ones for being part of your life. Your courage and attitude inspire all of us believe me. Needless to say we continue to send positive energy your way and it seems to be working.

Anya said...

Karen--I love it. I am with you girl. It is all about ATTITUDE! As you say, you/we could focus on the bad and the ugly. I DO often wish Paul was still here on earth with Drake and me...but you know what...he isn't...we are here, we are blessed, we are surrounded by incredible people, I love my job (because of people like you!!), the world out there is incredible if you take some time to really take it in...especially the trees, the mountains, the sky, the snapping turtles :-) ...every damn thing. I tell Drake way too often, we really are damn is a wild ride, we have to enjoy everything as much as we can...and have a good laugh sometimes about our weirdness, find humor when we (or others) get too serious, laugh at the ridiculous things...have fun riding the wave of life...up and down...when you get rolled, drag yourself back up.... The waves have hit you harder than most of us...but you are riding them out with smile...and that is beautiful --what else is one to do!! What a role model for us!! Love you!

Anonymous said...

Hi Karen!

I will be thinking about you as you start chemo again. I hope you feel OK after it is over. I loved your blog today so much that I "lifed" the last part and posted it on our ladies gratitude list so that all of your friends out here in Seattle could enjoy your great "attitude of gratitude". We met for ABSI at Rebecca's last night and that was our topic too. You are one of my most favorite people and I wish there was more I could do to support you from afar but know that you are loved a ton by me and it seems by countless others!! I will call you over the weekend, give Lou a hug too. Love, Debbie P.

Kathy SW said...

Dear Karen--
You are a dear, treasured, much loved friend and I miss you a lot here in Washington. You, Lou and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you, give you strength and infuse you with healing. Thanks for sharing your journey through this site.

Kathy Stephens Whitford

Alice said...

Hi Karen,

It's great to hear that your chemo went well yesterday - you have such a positive attitude and that is really wonderful and I'm certain helping you with this journey. Keep up the positivity and I will be keeping you in my prayers...luv, alice


Karen, you are a tremendous inspiration to me!! We met a short time ago on Thursday night and your joy and great sense of humor were absolutely contagious! That was just before you received your diagnosis. Your peace and joy are still very contagious and I hope to get to know you better and better as our friendship grows. I am also a retired RN and if you need any help I would love to help out in any way I am needed.
Love.......Valerie W.