I haven't mentioned my stomach aches here, but if you have been hanging out with me, you probably have seen me hunched over for 5 minutes, pretty unhappy.
Recently, I even started complaining out loud about them. One Saturday night, when the gang went out for pizza, I didn't order anything because I just felt awful. (I was there for the fellowship!) My friends were like, "Karen, call your doctor," but I was like, "No, no, I'll just wait for my next scan."
For probably 4 or 5 weeks now, I have gotten these stomach aches at least twice a day. They last from 5 to 15 minutes. I tried to track them, to determine some kind of cause and effect, but with no luck. They didn't seem to be related to any time of day or food or thirstiness or stress.
They were actually awful.
I have been feeling wonderful, except for these stomach aches.
I wasn't worried that they were cancer related. I just assumed that they were cancer-treatment related!
After all this chemo, my stomach ain't what it used to be. More easily upset. And Lou reminded me that I had complained about similar pain like a year ago, and Dr R had me start taking Zantac 75 twice a day, and it went away.
So when I saw him last week, I filled him in. He started me on Prilosec every day. He gave me a prescription for the generic, to save me money.
The first couple of days, there was no effect. Stomach aches continued unabaited. Then on Monday, I discerned that the stomach ache was less intense. The meds are working, I thought. And yesterday, I did not have even one. They are gone! Yahoo!
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
Fresca for Sale
Yesterday Lou and I got to the Duke CLinics a little early, so we wandered over to the gift ship to get a beverage. The first thing I saw in the refrigerator case was Diet Dr Pepper, which Lou really likes. It is kind of hard to find, though.
Then I saw the cans of Fresca.
I couldn't believe they had Fresca for sale. I LOVE FRESCA. And it is never for sale outside a grocery store.
So I got a Fresca, and Lou got a Diet Dr Pepper, and we went off to my appointment to hear what turned out to be awesome good news.
Then I saw the cans of Fresca.
I couldn't believe they had Fresca for sale. I LOVE FRESCA. And it is never for sale outside a grocery store.
So I got a Fresca, and Lou got a Diet Dr Pepper, and we went off to my appointment to hear what turned out to be awesome good news.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Great News: Stable Disease
Hey, the news is fantastic. All the tumors stayed the same.
Nothing grew, what a relief.
When Dr R left the room, Lou gave me a huge hug. We had apparently both been pretty anxious, even though neither one of us talked about it much.
We have been talking about how I have I days of vacation left this year but we would not get serious about picking a destination and timeframe till we heard the results today.
Again, wow, I am so happy right now.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone
Great News: Stable Disease
Hey, the news is fantastic. All the tumors stayed the same.
Nothing grew, what a relief.
When Dr R left the room, Lou gave me a huge hug. We had apparently both been pretty anxious, even though neither one of us talked about it much.
We have been talking about how I have I days of vacation left this year but we would not get serious about picking a destination and timeframe till we heard the results today.
Again, wow, I am so happy right now.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone
Do I Remember How to Blog from My Phone?
This is just a test to see if I remember how to send in an update from my mobile phone.
I want to be able to let you know the news this afternoon as quickly as possible.
This morning I am feeling pretty calm about the whole thing. Que sera sera!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone
I want to be able to let you know the news this afternoon as quickly as possible.
This morning I am feeling pretty calm about the whole thing. Que sera sera!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Scan Day is EZ
Today is Scan Day.
My plan is to work till lunchtime and then head up to Duke. I'll get bloodwork done, followed by the CT Scan.
The only tricky part of today willl be when they access my port. When they flush it with saline, I get a nasty taste in my mouth. During chemo, it's enough to trigger a nausea that lasts for hours. When I am not taking chemo, though, it is just a moment of yuckiness with no lingerling effect. The last couple of times, I have used York Peppermint Patties, which are so amazingly minty I can't even tell they have done the flush. I have some leftover and will bring them along. But I might experiment with simply holding my breath during the flush, see how that goes. I'll get flushed at least twice. If holding my breath doesn't work the first time, then I'll fall back on the mints.
Oh, and I definitely must refuse Tegaderm today. It's a fantastic clear plastic sheet, sticky on one side, that the nurses like to place over the port to sort of seal up the area after they get the needle in. I have always loved Tegaderm. It is awesome for covering an incision so you can take a shower after surgery. But now my skin gets red and irritated when they put it on me, even for just a couple of hours. So I must refuse. Ah, I guess I am a delicate flower...
This morning I walked the 2.2 mile loop. It is really fresh and cool this morning, as if we just had a drenching rain. Did it rain last night? I have no idea.
We did have an earthquake yesterday! It was my third. For a few seconds I thought it was guys working on the roof of my office building, but when it went on for so long, I knew it was an earthquake. All the knicknacks in my office rattled, but nothing fell over or got dissarranged.
So, today will be a breeze, especially since I have a book to read while I sit in the waiting room at the lab and then later in radiology. It's something like The Dance of Death by Douglas Preston and Lincold Child. I am not 100% sure of the title. It is just the next one in the series of novels with Special Agent Pendergast. I am hooked. Every book this team produces is better than the previous.
Tomorrow, Lou and I go see Dr R to get the results.
My plan is to work till lunchtime and then head up to Duke. I'll get bloodwork done, followed by the CT Scan.
The only tricky part of today willl be when they access my port. When they flush it with saline, I get a nasty taste in my mouth. During chemo, it's enough to trigger a nausea that lasts for hours. When I am not taking chemo, though, it is just a moment of yuckiness with no lingerling effect. The last couple of times, I have used York Peppermint Patties, which are so amazingly minty I can't even tell they have done the flush. I have some leftover and will bring them along. But I might experiment with simply holding my breath during the flush, see how that goes. I'll get flushed at least twice. If holding my breath doesn't work the first time, then I'll fall back on the mints.
Oh, and I definitely must refuse Tegaderm today. It's a fantastic clear plastic sheet, sticky on one side, that the nurses like to place over the port to sort of seal up the area after they get the needle in. I have always loved Tegaderm. It is awesome for covering an incision so you can take a shower after surgery. But now my skin gets red and irritated when they put it on me, even for just a couple of hours. So I must refuse. Ah, I guess I am a delicate flower...
This morning I walked the 2.2 mile loop. It is really fresh and cool this morning, as if we just had a drenching rain. Did it rain last night? I have no idea.
We did have an earthquake yesterday! It was my third. For a few seconds I thought it was guys working on the roof of my office building, but when it went on for so long, I knew it was an earthquake. All the knicknacks in my office rattled, but nothing fell over or got dissarranged.
So, today will be a breeze, especially since I have a book to read while I sit in the waiting room at the lab and then later in radiology. It's something like The Dance of Death by Douglas Preston and Lincold Child. I am not 100% sure of the title. It is just the next one in the series of novels with Special Agent Pendergast. I am hooked. Every book this team produces is better than the previous.
Tomorrow, Lou and I go see Dr R to get the results.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Genetically Engineer Me Now
About a week and a half ago, a couple of friends emailed me this amazing cancer news story about how some researchers genetically engineered some cancer patients' own blood to turn it into killer T cells that wiped out their advanced cancer (in 2 out of 3 guys).
Here is a link to a summary, if you are interested:
cancer story at www.businessinsider.com
It was published on August 11, 2011, so this is sort of old news by now, but that's what I get for being on cancer vacation.
I was so excited when I read about this.
Remember when I was taking AHCC to try to boost my T cells? That was last December, I think. I quit when my next scan showed growth and I had to start chemo again. Maybe I ought to go buy another bottle.
Anyway, I realized that I just have to hang in there till this becomes widely available. (Not that there is any hint of me not hanging in there. I am hanging in there just fine.)
Tomorrow is Scan Day.
Here is a link to a summary, if you are interested:
cancer story at www.businessinsider.com
It was published on August 11, 2011, so this is sort of old news by now, but that's what I get for being on cancer vacation.
I was so excited when I read about this.
Remember when I was taking AHCC to try to boost my T cells? That was last December, I think. I quit when my next scan showed growth and I had to start chemo again. Maybe I ought to go buy another bottle.
Anyway, I realized that I just have to hang in there till this becomes widely available. (Not that there is any hint of me not hanging in there. I am hanging in there just fine.)
Tomorrow is Scan Day.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Test My Calm
Realizing and then talking about being angry really helped a lot. At first, I felt even more angry and hurt, but eventually all those feelings started fading away.
At some point during the process, I wondered who or what I could to direct this anger toward. Anger requires a target. But nobody knows what causes leiomyosarcoma, so it's not like I can be mad at myself or the cigarette companies like a smoker with lung cancer.
I have felt a rush of anger toward my oncologist when he has reiterated that I cannot have surgery, but being hostile is not conducive to a healthy partnership! And I do want him to be my partner in keeping Karen alive and kicking.
It struck me that the only good target is the cancer itself. So I pictured myself punching a tumor in the nose. I liked that.
Enough about anger! I am feeling very calm and neutral today. Perhaps I ought to go back to that coffee shop this afternoon to test my neutrality.
Will I get upset with the barista again? I think not. I am flooded with feelings of "Live and let live."
I think it helped that there is alot going on right now at work and at home. I have a lot of distractions.
Sir Wilbur got me hooked on Words With Friends on my super new android phone. It's an app that lets you play scrabble online. I actually sort of stink at scrabble, which seems impossible since I am a writer. I still smart years after a game against Lisa Bender who positively killed me with her triple word scores and two letter words.
Also, Lou and I were toying with the idea of having the our friends' teenager come live with us for a few weeks as a sort of cooling off period for Mom and Dad. That fell through, but it was interesting to think about. What kind of ground rules would you set if you had that opportunity? Lou and I were emailing some good ones back and forth... it's probably a good thing the guy in the next office was on vacation, because I burst out laughing a few times on Friday.
At some point during the process, I wondered who or what I could to direct this anger toward. Anger requires a target. But nobody knows what causes leiomyosarcoma, so it's not like I can be mad at myself or the cigarette companies like a smoker with lung cancer.
I have felt a rush of anger toward my oncologist when he has reiterated that I cannot have surgery, but being hostile is not conducive to a healthy partnership! And I do want him to be my partner in keeping Karen alive and kicking.
It struck me that the only good target is the cancer itself. So I pictured myself punching a tumor in the nose. I liked that.
Enough about anger! I am feeling very calm and neutral today. Perhaps I ought to go back to that coffee shop this afternoon to test my neutrality.
I think it helped that there is alot going on right now at work and at home. I have a lot of distractions.
Sir Wilbur got me hooked on Words With Friends on my super new android phone. It's an app that lets you play scrabble online. I actually sort of stink at scrabble, which seems impossible since I am a writer. I still smart years after a game against Lisa Bender who positively killed me with her triple word scores and two letter words.
Also, Lou and I were toying with the idea of having the our friends' teenager come live with us for a few weeks as a sort of cooling off period for Mom and Dad. That fell through, but it was interesting to think about. What kind of ground rules would you set if you had that opportunity? Lou and I were emailing some good ones back and forth... it's probably a good thing the guy in the next office was on vacation, because I burst out laughing a few times on Friday.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
They Postponed Me
Today I was supposed to go for my next CT scan.
But about a week ago,my doctor's office left me a message that they needed to postpone my appointment till the 24th.
When I heard that message, I thought that was an awesome gift. I was thrilled to have an extra week of cancer vacation.
It is funny, though, the way things have turned out. I am sort of worked up today anyway, even though it is not scan day. At lunch, out of the blue, I started telling a good friend that I am angry that I have cancer. This anger has been simmering just under the surface until something silly like a rude barista makes the pot boil over.
So apparently my cancer vacation is over, scan or no scan.
Where is the cheerful Karen who went off on cancer vacation in June?! Who would have thought I would come back angry, especially after all the fun I have had in the last two months.
I already feel better, though. Just saying the words out loud really helped. I need to deal with this. I certainly cannot keep snapping at baristas! Nobody will want to make me a latte.
But about a week ago,my doctor's office left me a message that they needed to postpone my appointment till the 24th.
When I heard that message, I thought that was an awesome gift. I was thrilled to have an extra week of cancer vacation.
It is funny, though, the way things have turned out. I am sort of worked up today anyway, even though it is not scan day. At lunch, out of the blue, I started telling a good friend that I am angry that I have cancer. This anger has been simmering just under the surface until something silly like a rude barista makes the pot boil over.
So apparently my cancer vacation is over, scan or no scan.
Where is the cheerful Karen who went off on cancer vacation in June?! Who would have thought I would come back angry, especially after all the fun I have had in the last two months.
I already feel better, though. Just saying the words out loud really helped. I need to deal with this. I certainly cannot keep snapping at baristas! Nobody will want to make me a latte.
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